Feeling Low

I have to say, that even though I perversely enjoyed talking about myself for four hours ( I probably could have gone on all day), afterwards it left me feeling very deflated, and it is a feeling that has continued this morning. Looking back over what we talked about made me feel reeeeeaaaaalllllly depressed, so much so that when Alex came home full of the joys of 'I'm getting my visa tomorrow' (he is going to China soon for work) that even he noticed it, and he isn't exactly a world champion at reading body language.

I talked to him about what I had been doing yesturday and he was surprisingly up beat. He pointed out (in a rather budist kind of way) that we might not have any money, but we have a better quality of life than most people. We have a great marriage, if it can go through this then it's got to count for something, and we have an amazing family. Not only our children, but our extended family. So that cheered me somewhat. Money isn't the be all and end all of everything, but unfortunately when you live in an afluent area, in the society that we live in today, it is hard, really hard, not to get swept up in it all. People spend money round here without even thinking about it. Only this morning while dropping off my daughter at school I was informed that not only am I supposed to have bought her a pair of rugby/football boots for ONE TERM, that I now need to get a pair of shin pads for half a term. Thats six weeks! 'Oh well let's go to 'Sport Soccer' they sell them for £4' they all say. I just stood there thinking, that's another thing I've got to pay out for that they didn't tell you about. When is it going to end? How many more sports are they going to do for half a term that I need to buy 'essential' kit for? Is my child going to be laughed at because she's the only one in her class who has to borrow school boots?

So now I'm depressed again. I'm supposed to be going out on Thursday evening with the mums from school on one of our very rare nights out, but I don't know whether I can afford it. I was going to buy a new pair of shoes, but maybe I won't now.

On the up side, my glasses don't hurt my nose quite so much anymore. Whilst reading the kids a bed time story the other night Oscar kneed me in the eye (don't ask) and bent them back in the opposite way to which he bent them in the first place. Now they are just very loose and slide down my nose constantly. But they don't hurt, So that can only be good!

Essentially it is very depressing not having any money. It is after all, what makes the world go round. On a normal day I don't conciously notice or verbalise any of my money saving ideas, or any of the things that I/we go without. We just get on with our lives, we have fun, we spend time together, we don't notice that we don't have any money. But sitting down for four hours and being questioned about what you do/don't have or want is very depressing. I cannot imagine how many times I said 'we can't afford it' yesturday, but it must have been a whole heap.

Anyway, we'll be ok. We aren't starving, we don't live on the streets, and we aren't ill, so we are ok, and one day, we will have some money and Alex is going to take me to Japan.

Luck Changes

I have been exceptionally busy over the past couple of days and forgot to blog, and was just about to log off for the night and go to bed, (got absolutely no sleep last night, done something to my shoulder about a week ago and am in agony) and blogger caught my eye, so I thought I'd tell you my good news!

My car went in for it's yearly service and MOT yesturday, always a pain, not having a car, even for a short while. They phoned me in the afternoon to explain that as the MOT machinery (?) in their Woodley branch wasn't working they had taken my car to be tested at their Wargrave branch. They didn't have time to service it, but had tested it, and it passed! Hurrah! So instead of paying out around £200 (there goes my birthday money) I only had to pay £50. The down side is that as I didn't actually service it last year either, I would be really stupid not to get a service done this year, but was actually advised by John who works there (all round nice guy and neighbour) that I didn't need to have a platinum service (reeeeeally expensive one that I was booked in to have) and that a gold service (seriously cheaper, but not the cheapest) would be ok as long as I got an oil change.

So, you know what this means don't you??? Well, it meant that at my Pampered Chef party that I had last night I could actually think about buying something nice, and not just sticking to what I could get free with my points, and that quiz night on Friday will be nicer with a pint, and on Sunday when I go to the Ally Pally with Mel's mum then I might be able to splash out and get something interesting! Wehay! The world isn't all bad.

Pay Day Yay Day

Hurrah! We got paid! To celebrate I went to Waitrose and bought some stuff to make Fishy Pie for tea (one of Willow's Favourites.) I had some salmon in the freezer, and potatoes from the farmers market, but needed cheese and some more milk. Was going to get some smoked mackerel to put in it from the deli counter, (the deli counter is always cheaper than pre-packed) but while I was looking I found some exceptionally cheap rainbow trout fillets, £1.05 for two big fillets, so I snapped them up. A very tasty fishy pie it made too.

Alex withdrew his £200 for the month today, then had to give me £40 which he borrowed from my work on Saturday. (He can claim that back from work but it will be a while) Then he had to give me another £10 he owed me from my sponsored walk ages ago, and then £5 for Willow he sponsored her last week for her school fundraiser. So by the time he's filled up the car with deisel tomorrow, there won't be much left.

I have yet to work out how much I have got for the month. I'm feigning busyness. If I stick my head under the sand, it doesn't actually happen, and we aren't skint.

Oh, I forgot. Yesturday I went to Sainsburies and bought an organic melon for 40p, Organic flat mushrooms for 30p and a punnet of organic nectarines for 25p. I am getting a nose for this bargain hunting lark!

Starting Out

So this is my first blog on my new page! I do have a blog on here somewhere, but it's been some time since I accessed it, and I can't remember what it was called, or the password or whatever so it seems it's gone forever!

So now what do I write? This is kind of off the top of my head, so hopefully all my meanderings will make sense, and if they don't I'm sure you'll let me know.

We get paid on Monday, so at the moment we are exceptionally skint. I would be searching under the sofa cushions only I know there's no money under there as I looked last week. I got my bank statement today which informed me that I am £200 over my overdraft limit. That's what happens when you have a massive birthday party. Oh Joy (don't tell Alex, he'll have a fit). That means £200 quid less to spend this month, and as my car is in for it's service and mot on Tuesday, it looks like it's beans on toast for the next month.

I am quite looking forward to doing this research, and the blog, I find it quite amusing that someone out there is actually interested in what I have to say. My mother always told me I talked too much and had an opinion on everything, but now at least I can put that to good use!

I went to the opticians yesturday. Don't get me wrong, I didn't actually have an eye test or buy anything like that. I just went in to find out how much it would all cost. Let me explain. I am as blind as a bat. I normally wear contacts as I hate wearing glasses. I have run out of contact lenses, (I normally wear weekly diposables). My son has bent my glasses out of shape. They now annoy me even more than is humanly possible. They hurt one ear and one side of my nose and they are constantly falling off my face. So I went to the local opticians to find out how much it would be to get some new contacts similar to my old ones, and they quoted me Approx £30 a month!!! That's more than twice what I was paying before at my old opticians (unfortunately they stopped doing that price plan). So hence why I am still doing Harry Potter impressions and poking my glasses with my finger every three seconds. I actually found a Nectar voucher for a free eye test at Dolland & Aitchison, with is great but it still doesn't solve the glasses/contacts dilemma. I can't afford £30 a month for contacts, and I can't afford to buy a new pair of glasses, so it looks like I'm stuck with the annoying ones for the time being.